If you could have travel to any destination you wish, all expenses paid where would you go? White sands, blue waters? Swiss Alps? Mediterranean voyage? Where would you like to take it all in? When I use to be in teh position to hire employees, believe it or not that was a question I asked during the interview! One, it was an icebreaker and two, it really let’s you see what kind of person you’re dealing with.

If a person was very detailed and specific, I figured I had a planner or thinker in front of me. If the person gave a general answer like “somewhere warm,” or anywhere where there is fine dining,  i thought  gets the job done, but with teh bare minimum. If the person didn’t know, I assumed they were just wanderers.

I admit, it wasn’t a scientific method, and trust me there were plenty of other questions that helped to qualify or disqualify the candidate. In general though, the question was a surprisingly accurate way of telling the character of the would-be new hire.

This summer, I took the family to Virginia Beach. I have to say as my daughters are getting older, we are having much more fun as a family unit. They really appreciate spending time, having fun together and I actually enjoy it myself.  While I don’t get to put my feet up as much as a personal getaway for the adults, the fact that they not only are having a good time, but want to spend it with you is in itself a delight.

For example, when my eight year old asks me to take a swim with her or my two year old wants me to help her build a sand castle, its really because they want to share the activity with me – not because they need my help so much.  And even though, I’d rather sit down sometimes and let the sun work, hearing their giggles and having their smaller hands fit so perfectly in mind, when we’re building something together gives me the energy and in a spiritual way the peaceful rest I enjoy.

Next vacation or getaway you take, perhaps you should take the family. It’s more restful then you think.

ACM

I’m reading clutch magazine online a few weeks ago when I stumble across the article which mentions Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter starring in a porne film. http://clutchmagonline.com/newsgossipinfo/where-did-laurence-fishburne-go-wrong/.  I did my share of forwarding the article and even bashing young 19 year-old daughter Montana for her stupid action.

On the way home, I listened to a few radio programs which talked about her ridculous antics for attention. Radio personalities, who I’m sure have never met her called her all sorts of silly and sad for trying to get famous in this manner, when her father is pretty much a household name. I did my part and nodded in agreement.

It wasn’t until the next day that I was struck with an epiphany. I mean a jaw dropping moment socked me in the mouth to close it.

I am just like Montanna.  Many of us are!  I mean, no, I’m not thinking about getting stripped bare and showing my belly push-ups on camera, but in a spiritual sense, I’ve taken the “rotten” path to try to achieve my goals rather than rely on the resources of my spiritual father.

I have ventured into the darkness rather than call on his name for guidance and resources. I have ignored his ability and willingness to help to try to obtain accomplishments on my own and each time, I shunned my spiritual father, my plans ended up backfiring, crumbling or simply failing.

So before you cast your stones or hurl your own insults at Montana, take a real close look and you might see yourself in her image.

ACM

Had an excellent time at the African-American Authors Expo yesterday.  I sold some books, networked, and met some wonderful people. Below are a few photos from the event. Even ran into some old friends who came out to support.  Enjoy the pics.

ACM

Aww shucks she put the first book in her hands. They still like the romancing.

Other authors on the scene

Doing what I do.

Giving readers a taste of the book.

This guy says he’s into science fiction. Came back to buy a copy of my book.

Met some wonderful people! Nothing like talking with new readers!

My beautiful 11-year old assistant! She was a big help.

Registration table. Very helpful group.

Me, with Deborah Owens, author of A Purse of Her Own and Harold Fisher author of Two Weeks in the Life

Always awesome to meet new readers. Great event!

More pics.

My table - my daughter helped me set it up!

Another reader. She bought a lot books at the festival. I’m glad I made her list.

Read the rest of this entry »

I spoke with a long time friend today – a very ambitious entrepreneur.  In fact, he’s so accomplished, in his 36 years of living, he’s yet to hold a full time job. In all of his adult life, he’s been about owning and building his own business. I on the other hand have held a few full time communications positions, have achieved success in my work and with my writing and continue to see areas of growth and opportunity – as does he.

We talked about our different paths and how much more in life we wanted to achieve.  Both of us complimented each other on our accomplishments and our drive to do more, but the interesting point of the conversation occured when we started to compare notes. We were talking about the thing that made us somewhat the same and we found out what it was – we isolated ourselves from mainstream mess.  Bot of us could not tell you who won artist of the year on the BET music awards, we don’t know what season or episode any of the popular reality TV series is in and we don’t listen to the radio – hardly ever. (Okay, I listen to christian or spiritual radio when taking my girls to school – but most of the time, I’m listening to a podcast on a particular work-related or goal-related topic, or I’m thinking about next steps in pursuit of my life goal.

Everyday should have some time carved out to fill up on something to help build you to the next level.  If you’re not careful, someone or something will take that time or you’ll give it up to add some nonsense or busy work to your life. Trust me, if you’re listening, watching, or working to or for someone else – its because they’ve taken the time to build themselves to the level whereby you are interested or locked into giving them your attention.

Is Atlanta Housewives really that interesting?  The next time you decide to give :30 minutes, an hour or a few minutes to that sitcom, reality show or song – explore whether or not you’re replacing that time with something that will one day help you get to the point where others are listening to what you have to say or watch what you’re doing.

Turn the TV off.  Think when you drive. Write up that goal and work towards it – even if its little by little.

Don’t miss the mess!

My family and I gathered in Fredericksburg, Virginia this weekend to celebrate the 4th – small town, away from the city, lots of sun, boating, swimming and plenty of fireworks. As we watch the night sky shimmer with bursts of packaged sunshine while listening to the national anthem, I surveyed the spectators. Lots of USA t-shirts, bandanas and small flags (the flags were made in China, but thats a different blog for a diferent time) were proudly displyed.

I wondered if the holiday we celebrate should mean more than just a celebration of our forefathers successful succession from the Red Coats. In my humble opinion yes it should.

How about we make it just a tad bit personal and also celebrate each of our independence from something that has weighed us down from reaching our full potential – an addiction, a relationship, a job, etc. If you want to celebrate a free country, that’s great, but how about lighting one sparkler for yourself.

It’s been several weeks since I’ve blogged, promoted my books or simply wrote. I guess you can say I fell into the trap of ROUTINE. Wake up, work, pay bills, sleep – oh, every now and then eat.  What a dangerous place! What you don’t realize is while the trap is forming, you actually start believing that eventually time will create itself and you’ll get back to maSo last week, we’ve had a few 90+ degree days, my wife took a vacation with her mom – leaving me with the kids and I’ve just been running all week to make sure the routine wking sure the things that are being neglected will find its way to completion again.

Saturday, however I participated in a Christian Book Festival and set up a table for Even Angels Need Miracles.  I must admit, though I sold some books, the turnout was small – but the value I received for attending was huge.  At the event I met and heard some  authors speak on their books and the inspiration behind their works. One author, James Jimeson http://jamesajimason.com talked about discovering his destiny and fulfilling his purpose of helping people through his books and public speaking. This brother, who wrote seven books, was on fire – hotter than the weather in his  confidence and he confirmed that he indeed understood what he was called to do. In fact, his confidence made me see my own faults in being nabbed by the rat race.

For the last few weeks, I’ve neglected growth and settled for maintainning.  Completing assignments,  making deadlines and upholding the fort. Well, never again!  I’m moving forward and staking my claim – making sure that I keep moving toward my destiny. I’m heated  and on fire to making sure everyday I do something toward making sure I write, meeting other writers and giving my book some exposure.

If you have a goal you’re chasing, I encourage you to get on fire too. Yuse the heat wave we’re facing as a reminder to get hot for your passion and pursuit.

ACM

My job recently relocated to downtown Baltimore and I made it a point to try to avoid the high price of parking – cue in public transportation. So I’m  riding the bus these days. Okay it’s been two days, but two days of public transportation experience that I’ve never had before – and for now, I’m actually enjoying it.

The first day – getting to work was a  breeze. I planned my course,  found the right bus and schedule. The first day, I paid the $1.60 and grabbed a seat. I was at work 25 minutes later. Smooth and easy. Coming home on the other hand a different story. I missed my bus and picked up the next bus that was labeled for the same location.

What I learned (mind it the hard way) was that I missed the express bus, but caught the bus that had the same destination – though it wasn’t labeled express. This bus took the scenic route, coasting me through some very distressed blocks of boarded-up and bricked-up homes. I saw busted steps, police “Do Not Cross” tape, some blue-light crime cameras and perhaps a less than desirable transaction or two. 

It was a good ride.

As I rode through several blocks of reminders – reminders of how blessed and fortunate I am; reminders to pray for a communities outside of my circle and reminders to always appreciate the reminders, I was glad to have gotten on THAT bus.

So, when the bus FINALLY got to the lot, where my car was waiting. I said a prayer of thanks. Last week, my car’s “check engine” light came on. (Don’t you hate that?) I was thinking about trading it in. Despite that light, I love my car. When I pulled up to my home, the crooked  bush that still needs to be clipped stared at me and for the first time this spring, I didnt wish to yank it out. 

Do you need a dose of thankfulness. Do you need to really appreciate where you are in life?  Get on this bus.  Not the express bus – don’t just just bypass  through the scenery, ride the slower bus. Take in the scenery – good or bad. You can sit next to me.

From President Kennedy to Eliot Spitzer, to Tiger Woods- married men have been having affairs for years and it seems the more high profile they are, the more they are desired, and whether or not they have a spouse, is irrelevant.  In the past,  it seems that the other woman was ostracized and shunned by society while the man was viewed as “just being a man,” but now it appears that the tables have turned…but not necessarily for the better.

In today’s society many women are making a profit from being the mistress of a wealthy and/or famous man.  For example, since former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s scandal, Ashley Dupree, his mistress, now has a sex column in the New York Post and she is on the cover of the May 2010 issue of Playboy Magazine.  Also, the first exposed mistress of Tiger Woods, Rachael Uchitel, has now been offered a job as a TV correspondent for the television show Extra.  Excuse me for sounding insensitive, but I find this news to be very disturbing. 

There are hundreds of thousands of young men and women, who have recently graduated from college, and unfortunately due to the economy,  they find themselves to be unemployed or underemployed, yet these women carried on long term affairs with  high profile gentlemen and they are rewarded for their behaviors with relatively high end jobs.  I find this to be a slap in the face to college graduates and also to all the entire staff of Extra and The Washington Post.  Our society claims to promote education, intelligence, and hard work as being a way to gain prosperity; yet our culture has become so grossly infatuated with scandal and gossip that we are willing to reward women and pay them good money for being “the other woman.”  I believe our culture should be very ashamed, for we are teaching young girls to use their bodies as a way of to gain success and not their minds.   Now by no means am I saying that these women should be shunned and made to feel bad about themselves.  I do believe that they should be able to put this behind them and continue on with their lives, but by no means do I feel that they should be rewarded for taking part in breaking up a marriage and a family.  Eliot Spitzer and Tiger Woods were not rewarded for their extra marital behaviors, so therefore I do not believe their mistresses should receive any benefits.  I think that if our society continues to condone this type of behavior it will only enhance the belief that a woman’s body is more important than her mind.  We should encourage women to respect themselves,  educate themselves, and earn wonderful careers through  hard work and dedication for that is the only way to have longevity in your career.  For being a mistress may allow for you to be the “it” girl for now, but in a few months, or a few years if you’re lucky, you will no longer be relevant.

Thirty years ago, I was in elementary school, and I remember when my parents and my family use to plan weekend boating trips to the lake, camping  and other ways to spend some quality time (Hey, we lived in Oklahoma). By the time Monday came back  around — despite all the activity — we felt sort of rested.  Care to guess why?  Becaue 30 years ago, we didn’t have cell phones, Black Berries and the Internet to keep my parents connected to work.

Now a real weekend geta way is almost unheard of. With all the advances in technology, we do have the benefits of working smarter – but at the same time, we are working more.  A whole lot more – like, even when we’re supposed to be off and not working.

On many weekends, I find myself checking in with the Black Berry - just to make sure I’m not missing something urgent. The same is true during vacation. I know – it sounds silly to stay connected even on vacation, but its the norm. Most of us who have remote access to work email and servers, feel compelled to check email and respond to a emails that have a certain degree of importance or if it comes from the right person. The common statement “I’m only going to check a few messages, honey” can turn into hours of real work.

I’m not saying we should abandon the act of working remotely when an urgent matter takes place.  It’s important in order to be productive sometimes.  I would like to propose however that we revisit whether two day weekends is really enough. I mean this five days of work and two days off was introduced at a time when employees didn’t work during those two days – am I right.  Now, we do work on those two days pretty regularly. How about four of work and three days off  as the new standard. What about a  30 day vacation as the base? What would it be like if we went to hourly wages instead of flat salaries?

Until the next time.

I’m a fan of comics and science fiction. (I probably should start off with that before getting into this quick bit). While driving my daughter’s to school one day, we started talking about certain fictional superheroes and asking which super human powers we would like to have if we could choose one. We went through them all – strength, speed, super genious intelligence (this one was sort of a trick choice – with the caveat that you couldn’t think up new powers) and many others. The two that had the most interesting debate were teleportation or flight.
Both have their advantages. Both allow you to get where you want to go very conveniently, but just based on OUR conversation (so this is not scientific), it occured to me that the choice of flight allows you to experience the journey in getting to your destination. You can see the beauty and bad in between point A to point B. You literally can see where came from, where you are and where you’re going. With teleportation, however you’re just interested in the destination. Don’t care how you get there. Not even sure you appreciate the travel – aren’t many of us that way?
I have a goal and I want to get there as quickly as I can, but I’m almost certain instant arrival is not the best way. The journey actually prepares you for the destination. Think about this – if you’re flying to your tropical island and see from miles above there’s a war or volcanic eruption, you can change course. There’s plenty of time to make adjustments. If one second in your living room and decide in the next you want to be on that same island – you