What makes this occasion a real treat is not the $40-50 plate; not the shared birthday; not the location; nor the fact that we can get away from the kids for an evening (though that helps).  Simply hanging out with friends and exchanging laughter is amusement enough.

I know that hanging out with friends over dinner is nothing new. Many people do it more regularly than me I’m sure.  Consider this blog nothing more than a reminder.  This year, make the time to enjoy a meal with your close ones.  Do you have parents that haven’t been out in a while? A couple that you know is going through something?  A sibling or neighbor that could use a good laugh?  Invite them out to dinner and let the good times roll.

This year, no matter the economy, no matter how busy you are, take the initiative to find some good eats with good friends.  Oh, and There’s Always Room for Dessert. LOL.

ACM

Over the last few months, I’ve picked up a couple of lessons that seemed to all have the same central theme – I can’t do it without God.

Sometimes, I can get so busy that all the things I have to work on become nothing but chores – mundane tasks that only get a portion of my attention. When I get into that zone, it’s often that the work I do suffers in quality and my attitude toward completing those tasks becomes sort of blah … just get it done.  When I’m connected to God, however, I’m able to get things done – but also with the right attitude in place.  When you compare the outcome of my work – things I complete with God and things I complete while trying to do it myself, you can tell right away that my “solo” projects suffer.

As a husband, father, student, employee, church and community volunteer, little league coach, etc. I stay busy – and I don’t see it changing. I admit that I can’t do everything, but I can handle all things that come my way, when I’m connected to the one who give me the ablity get the job done.

Just thought I’d share.

Perhaps I’m reading too deep into this. I do not mean to say that children should not feel inclined to ask for help from their community – what I’m more concerned of is that the adults who are leading children to these intersections are teaching children to ask for a handout, rather than teaching them how to earn their means to their desired goal.

Why can’t the team invite me to one of the local games and charge a small admission? Maybe they can hold a concession stand or offer car washes? I just don’t like the idea of giving children a bucket and sending them to every car stalled at a traffic light – not when there’s a more life-teaching way to help them earn money for the team.

As a little league girls softball coach for the past three years, I would never consider sending my girls out to ask for money to help us get to our tournament. I would meet with the parents and come up with ways to earn funding. Of course I would put those little girls to work, but make no mistake they would clearly see that we are all talented, skilled and innovative enough to earn the funding we need – for whatever purpose.

Although, I may still decide to help the occassional child that strolls by my car wearing a jersey and holding a bucket for contributions,  I think I will hold a conversation with that coach or parent that is usually off to the side on their cell phone, sitting in some foldable recreation chair.

Should I ask them for a few bucks so I can get to my destination?  It would be interesting to hear their response.

It’s all good though, I’d much rather lose my voice talking to readers about my books than anything else . (I guess losing your voice by screaming at a superbowl is a good way to go too.)

Lots of familiar faces this year – a couple of readers I met last year stopped by for the 2011 festival to purchase my other book or bring a friend to purchase a book as well. One reader, Debbie, came to get a copy of Always Room for Dessert. She also purchased a book from Theodore Crawford. I love it when a reader comes back – even if its just to give a kind word.  You can see Debbie in last year’s blog here.

A couple of thank you’s are due for making this year’s festival happen. One, I want to thank Oprah Moore for once again holding down the family while I was away for the weekend. I also want to thank Theodore “Theo” Crawford for sharing the tent with me. What a great author and friend. Working these festivals often means you’re at your table selling and signing all day, but you do do have to build time to eat, network and make a bathroom run. Theo, while selling and signing his own books would watch over my area, while I took a stroll from time to time.  I also want to thank my other tent partners, who I don’t recall by name. But we all looked out for each other – one authro even bought a bottle of champagne that we all split for some fun.   Shhh!!!

This year’s festival was worth a toast indeed. Even with the Friday night down pours, the attendance was still awesome. Lots of traffic, lots of  sunshine, lots of fun.

Looking forward to the 2012 festival.

Saturday, however was a much more fulfilling day.  Gray at times, but fair moments of sunshine broke through the clouds and made the day a very pleasant one. I had the opportunity to speak to hundreds of readers about my books and also enjoy meeting other writers and publishers on site. This year Theodore Crawford, author of A Time to Remember and I shared a tent space and both of us held it down. Stay tuned to this blog or follow me on Facebook  or on Twitter as he and I may pair up for future book festivals.

Here are some pics from the event Friday and Saturday. One more blog coming after the event ends Sunday. Happy reading!

It seems that each festival lends the opportunity for me to speak to readers in every demographic, but the Baltimore Book Festival is also the one festival that readers actually take the time to send me the most feedback – and I love feedback. After the 2010 festival, I’ve received countless emails from individuals who shared encouraging words. I’ve also made a lot of friends. If you’re in the Baltimore area the weekend of the 23rd – the 25th, I invite ou to come out and meet some local authors trying to share their stories with as many people as they can. Of course, I’ll be there and I’ll be sharing a table with author Theodore Crawford, author of A Time to Remember. Other authors who’ll be on site include 

The festival author lineup includes:

Sherman Alexie, Pseudonymous Bosch, Libba Bray, Common, Kate and Jules Feiffer, Myla Goldberg, Gordon Korman, Kimberla Lawson Roby, Laura Lippman, Roland S. Martin, Daisy Martinez, Sam McBratney, Chef Aaron “Big Daddy” McCargo, Jr., Patrick McDonnell, Terry McMillan, Jacquelyn Mitchard,  Erin Morgenstern, Kadir Nelson, Fr. Leo Patalinghug, Rachel Renee Russell, Tavis Smiley, Shirley Strawberry, Lisa Unger, Marcela Valladolid and David Wiesner.

So all Baltimoreans, come on out and let’s get get our read on – together.  Really looking forward to seeing you.

Last year’s Festival Pics-

For years Lil’ Wayne has dedicated himself to gangsta rap, selling the messages of fast money, sex and even death, as he climbed the charts, amassed fame and piled on riches.

I’ve resented his music, his swagger, his artistry – not because I’m hating on his success, but because in communities that need more positive messages, Weezy and other gangsta rappers inherit the status of role model leading impressionable minds down paths that praise low hanging pants, disrespect for authority, womanizing thuggish behavior and a few other less complimentary antics.

A few months ago, however, Lil Wayne’s song “How to Love” grabbed my attention. This edgy, yet simple love ballad showed a more sensitive, mature side of Wayne that deserved recognition.

You’ve had a lot of crooks trying to steal your heart, never really had luck … never really figured out how to love.

Catchy, memorable, bonafide good song … in my opinion.

After weeks of watching undiscovered artists sing their rendition of the song on YouTube, I finally got a chance to see the official video, which came out 8/24.  I must say I was impressed. The imagery fits perfectly, leaving the maturity and growth of Wayne to be applauded.

The video’s plot — a young woman abused by men, grows up in a world where the wrong decisions are the only practical options for her survival. Promiscuity, stripping, prostitution, teenage pregnancy all bring this girl down to hopelessness and even the unfortunate fate of contracting HIV.

Then, the video rewinds and shows the life of this woman after making all the “right” decisions.  So for example – even after becoming pregnant as a teenager, rather than trying to live on the streets, the girl moves back home with her mother. She stays out of trouble, meets a good man, gets married, and her daughter instead of becoming a victim of abuse, driven toward making wrong decisions and facing the harsh consequences for her actions, she takes the opportunity of an education, finds true love and begins a family … the perfect happy ending.

And yet I complain.

I love happy endings and stories that come full circle, but the message of the video slightly bothers me.  Why?  Because it suggests that Lil Wayne  knows the difference between good decisions and bad decisions and the rewards and consequences that are attached for making one over the other.

While founded on an abusive relationship, the video clearly shows how tough life can be when bad choices are made – even if forced to make those choices and “the good life”, i.e. a monogamous relationship, marriage, responsible parenting, etc. can lead to the better life.

Showing this outcome and making the distinction in the video tells me that rappers (like Lil Wayne) who claim that wholesome qualities are somehow unfamiliar, unattainable, uncool, etc. know what is considered good, yet despite knowing, they choose to package and sell the negative messages they endorse. If Lil wayne truly believes that good choice make for a better life, why not make that his platform?  Why not push those message points? Don’t tell me it won’t sell. Don’t tell me it won’t have an impact. The current hip hop filth is selling and its influencing — and now this song, with its positive message is making waves in the music world.

If there is even a chance that Lil Wayne could read this blog, I would say this to him.

Hey Mr. Carter, tell me where you been?

You’ve had hits before.  You’ve made money. You’re a mogul. Look at how THIS song is climbing the charts. Look at the types of people who are  listening, and singing THIS song. It’s influential and just as real as your other music. But THIS song, which made my playlist a month ago, can can do more than make money. It can make a difference.

I wish you continued success in your career.

Myrtle Beach Vacation

Myrtle Beach – one of my favorite family destinations. It’s been about three years since my last visit to these southern Atlantic waters. This time, however, I squeezed a few more family members into the trip – my parents, my wife’s mother, my neice and our four year old daughter, who experienced Myrtle Beach for the very first time.

Last year, my four year old visited VA Beach with me, my wife and two sisters and she’s been raving about the beach ever sense, so naturally, we asked her which beach she preferred and she said … “both”.

During this week’s stay, we had the wonderful pleasure of staying at the Myrtle beach villas in south Myrtle Beach. from flat screen TV’s in every room  to wifi access, tis was a great stay – special thank you to the Cox family for setting up such a wonferful place for vacationing large families. 

While on vacation, we got a chance to see a acrobat show, visit the Family Kingdom Amusement Park, go GoKart racing and of course plenty of

Go Kart Racing

I can’t believe how easy it is to work day to day and not take the time to kick back with a few loved ones and spend time just enjoying the days and evenings. While we don’t always see eye to eye back home, we can at least spend a week together and get to know each other a little more and really

Family Girls Taught Me a Lesson

 appreciate the uniqueness of us all.

This past week, I recall swimming in the condo pool and tossing my daughters and neice in the air – just as they like – when my nine-year-old daughter offered to take a dunk in place of my neice to “save” my neice from certain torture. Then, my 12 year old sacrificed herself for my nine year old and my neice for the 12 year old. It was a lesson that I soon began to appreciate.

Now its time to get back into the grind. As I understand it, I have a lot of work waiting for me, but guess what – I’m prepared. 

To those that came out and listened to me and the other authors, thanks so much!!! You are the reason for why I write.

Some pics from the event.

“She doesn’t know ow to turn me on.”

“Why do men want to date me after they get married?”

“I’m unhappy.”

“I’m not sure if marriage is for me.”

“I’m not sure if I’ll ever get married.”

July – the month of fireworks indeed. I’m not sure what’s going on with my conversation circle, but lately every discussion I’ve had this month seems to center on a troubled relationship. I’m not too proud to admit that some of the conversations included my own routine relationship maintenance issues.  From men to women,  single friends, to those engaged and married, it seems like something is plaguing us all from living out our blissful, harmonious, Cliff and Claire Huxtable household.  That something, in my own estimation is ourselves.

Conversation after conversation, each comment, opinion, accusation, etc. focused on what our mates were doing wrong:

We’d all be doing much better if he or she would change. We’d all be so much happier if he or she would just pay more attention, would just be more affectionate, more attractive, more spontaneous, more more more.

The other day, my wife went to the salon and got an amazing new hairstyle. It was very different for her and defintley a good look. I’ve complimented her, so have her friends, my friends and even complete strangers. You can see the facebook thread here . I think she is enjoying the attention and just the feeling of a new experience all together. While I like the new do and find it very attractive, the hair style was not for me – but rather for her. It made me feel good to see her do something for herself. It impressed me. It was a turn on.

So, I ask you all. What are you doing for the relationship?  Not so much for your spouse/significant other – but for yourself? Taking classes, writing a book, going to the gym. Show your spouse that you love them by loving yourself. Perhaps he will try a little something different for himself, but if not – what did you lose? You got something new working for you and sooner or later he / she is going to want to come along for the ride.  Getting a new “do” is not just about changing what’s on your head, but what’s in it.

I feel another blog comming soon.