Posts Tagged ‘life’

I don’t like to use my blog to vent too often, but I have a pet peeve — and it has to do with pulling up to a traffic light and having children walk up to my car asking for money to support their trip to “the championship game”.  What bothers me is not that I can’t reach into my pocket and give $2 or reach into my ashtray and dump all my loose change in their bucket; what irks me is the effect that I think this type of practice will create for these impressionable minds.

Perhaps I’m reading too deep into this. I do not mean to say that children should not feel inclined to ask for help from their community – what I’m more concerned of is that the adults who are leading children to these intersections are teaching children to ask for a handout, rather than teaching them how to earn their means to their desired goal.

Why can’t the team invite me to one of the local games and charge a small admission? Maybe they can hold a concession stand or offer car washes? I just don’t like the idea of giving children a bucket and sending them to every car stalled at a traffic light – not when there’s a more life-teaching way to help them earn money for the team.

As a little league girls softball coach for the past three years, I would never consider sending my girls out to ask for money to help us get to our tournament. I would meet with the parents and come up with ways to earn funding. Of course I would put those little girls to work, but make no mistake they would clearly see that we are all talented, skilled and innovative enough to earn the funding we need – for whatever purpose.

Although, I may still decide to help the occassional child that strolls by my car wearing a jersey and holding a bucket for contributions,  I think I will hold a conversation with that coach or parent that is usually off to the side on their cell phone, sitting in some foldable recreation chair.

Should I ask them for a few bucks so I can get to my destination?  It would be interesting to hear their response.

I spoke with a long time friend today – a very ambitious entrepreneur.  In fact, he’s so accomplished, in his 36 years of living, he’s yet to hold a full time job. In all of his adult life, he’s been about owning and building his own business. I on the other hand have held a few full time communications positions, have achieved success in my work and with my writing and continue to see areas of growth and opportunity – as does he.

We talked about our different paths and how much more in life we wanted to achieve.  Both of us complimented each other on our accomplishments and our drive to do more, but the interesting point of the conversation occured when we started to compare notes. We were talking about the thing that made us somewhat the same and we found out what it was – we isolated ourselves from mainstream mess.  Bot of us could not tell you who won artist of the year on the BET music awards, we don’t know what season or episode any of the popular reality TV series is in and we don’t listen to the radio – hardly ever. (Okay, I listen to christian or spiritual radio when taking my girls to school – but most of the time, I’m listening to a podcast on a particular work-related or goal-related topic, or I’m thinking about next steps in pursuit of my life goal.

Everyday should have some time carved out to fill up on something to help build you to the next level.  If you’re not careful, someone or something will take that time or you’ll give it up to add some nonsense or busy work to your life. Trust me, if you’re listening, watching, or working to or for someone else – its because they’ve taken the time to build themselves to the level whereby you are interested or locked into giving them your attention.

Is Atlanta Housewives really that interesting?  The next time you decide to give :30 minutes, an hour or a few minutes to that sitcom, reality show or song – explore whether or not you’re replacing that time with something that will one day help you get to the point where others are listening to what you have to say or watch what you’re doing.

Turn the TV off.  Think when you drive. Write up that goal and work towards it – even if its little by little.

Don’t miss the mess!

If you’re going to ask someone their opinion, then be prepared to receive a response you may not agree with.  That’s kind of a general rule.

Today, I actually received a direct message on Twitter asking me if, and I quote, write “Street Lit.”; you know, the books that have a message wrapped around a storyline that includes drugs, sex, violence (or a combination of the three).  My response was I don’t write those kinds of stories. Immediately, the person called me arrogant and blasted me for my response. Still smh.

First, the person doesn’t even know me. Second, with Twitter’s 140 characters limitation, I really couldn’t go into detail of what I was trying to say.  But here is the detail, I would have shared had I been given the chance.

Street Lit. is not me. I’m a married father of three daughters and I couldn’t pull the stories off authentically. I’m not saying you have to be a hustler to write about one, but my passion for those types of stories is not there. I’m not knocking writers and authors for sharing those types of stories. Those stories are indeed a part of the African-American culture, but I would argue a small part. The vast majority of African Americans do not hustle and sling their way throughout life. But even still, the argument that the street lit. culture only represents a minority of African Americans, pales in comparison to my key argument and writing principle – we have other stories to tell.

Again, no disrespect to my fellow writers who are keeping it real (seriously). And while there’s space on the shelves for stories about king pins losing territory, the hustler who’s out for revenge, or the sexy gold digger teaching bad boys a lesson, I believe there’s also shelf space and interest (despite what some may think) for stories about individuals, copules and families that overcome obstacles honestly and are rewarded for their efforts. I am confident that there is space for stories where love though tried and tested still prevails over easier alternatives. I also recognize that these kinds of stories are NEEDED. I believe there is healing in reading stories where moral heroes prevail.

I’m not saying that sex, violence and drugs have no place in novels. How could I say such a thing with legitimacy? Afterall, my first novel Always Room for Dessert has sex and my second novel opens with death and contains violence.

What I am saying is that what makes the African-American reading experience most valuable is the diversity within our reading genres. I know Street Lit is selling.  You can walk into any bookstore and see an entire shelf section devoted to those types of stories. but as an author, I want to serve as a counter balance and tell stories that add depth to our culture and existence in more wholesome ways. Stories that can elevate as well as entertain.

Perhaps I just need to loosen up.  Perhaps I am arrogant as the Twitter responder claimed and a bit self-righteous. I honestly don’t think that’s it. I actually take pride in the fact that I have an opinion and principles that are right for me and I’m sticking to them — even if it means I don’t get to be on that popular shelf.